Midnight Ramblings

One of my good friends graduated from college a few weeks ago. She came to school with me and graduated a year early. I had the opportunity to but I chose not to-mainly for a guy (which was probably not the best reason to base a decision off of). But now, I am no longer with that guy and it has me thinking of whether I should have graduated early as well. I like that this fourth year will permit me to be Queen and have a year of reign which hopefully will be fun and beneficial. I just hope that me wanting to have an extra year of fun without the hardline responsibility of adulthood doesn't make me a slacker. And sadly I will admit that I am being a bit of a procrastinator when it comes to preparing for the GMAT and GRE and also I have put off my real search for other options besides the Cornell program that I am so interested in. I know I was like this when it came to looking for colleges and I ended up being blessed to attend my current school and meet all of the wonderful people. But I don't want to take for granted the blessings that I know God has given me by not putting full effort into my future plans. I just wish I knew what the plan He has for me. And I'll admit that I am not looking forward to starting over again completely-by myself. I loved it for undergrad but I was really hoping that I would have someone to move into the next phase of life with instead of having to be alone again...maybe thats why I've been putting it off. I feel like once people hit a certain age its hard for them to break out of their comfort zones to let someone new in-especially if they have lived there for their entire lives. So I don't want to have to force myself on people and at the same time I definitely don't want to be home alone every night with no one to hang out with. It would get so old going to dinner, movies, malls, cultural events, etc by yourself with no one to discuss life and events with...I don't want to ever slip back into feeling inadequate...I don't want to be alone in whats supposed to be the most fun decade of your life...I just want everything to work out and to have a wonderful life. Hopefully everything will fall into place.