It's been stagnant deep inside,

But it's coming up! I have this intense feeling of greatness within me that is bursting at my seams. It now, more than ever, seems unlikely for me to settle for mediocrity. There is so much that I want to do I just am looking for a place to start. The question I hate the most is "What are you doing next?" Just calm down everyone. Just wait and see. Cause you won't be able to miss it. It takes too much time for me to try to explain my vision. And as time goes on I see less and less reason for me to hand you my vision only for you to scrutinize and criticize because you don't see what I see. Just sit back. Or go ahead with your plans for your future. But stop asking me mine, because until you see it, you just won't understand.

I'm not trying to be rude. But in the time it takes to explain the details of my plan in a way that you will understand, I could have completed the next step.

The greatness is coming. You just wait and see.

I don't know what to do..

I don't know where to go. I don't know how to get to that next level, next phase, next whatever. And it's destroying my present. I am not happy, I cannot find contentment. I don't like all my down time because I don't like being forced to think of the future. It's too much to handle in large doses. I am miserable because I have no one to distract me from life. I want to lie on a park bench and just sleep for hours. I want to be a movie critic and a top chef. I want to lose a million pounds so I look good in clothes again. I want to feel like I'm loved, like I'm the most important person to someone. I can't think. My brain is hurting, my thoughts are blocked. My motivation has disappeared. Basically I'm a mess. And I don't know if these things can be cured.