perils of cuisine and dining...

Food is necessary to our existence but is a huge issue for a majority of the population...whether its having too much, or not enough, or perfecting the perfect diet so you can still enjoy life without losing the appearance that you want. My fast of fast food is nearing its end. And honestly I dont know whether or not i will continue it into the new year. I have definitely weaned myself off so that it is no longer a necessity. I think i will be able to use it sparingly as it was originally intended. Not as a permanent source of groceries. I havent lost much weight, I probably havent saved much money. But I have learned about myself and my strength and will power. I learned that I can't blame my weight or finances solely on fast food. It is because of lack of disipline by choice in other areas that cause me to get where I am. In order to make the change in myself that I so desperately want I need to be just as disiplined in those areas as I was in this fast. If for no other reason than to prove it to myself that I love me enough to make me better.

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He is...

exciting something that just happened, maybe a blessing in disguise. He is a beautiful smile in the morning sunlight. A calm word in the midst of distress. A cool glance that will cause a great unrest-butterflies and stars begin dancing and all of a sudden there is a permanent smile from ear to ear. He is unafraid to move to his own groove and is so intoxicating that he tempts those around to be just as brave, just as bold. Unknowingly (I think) he tempts me to open my heart. And maybe I will, be bold enough to do so.

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It's impossible to predict...

What will come of our lives. The plan for the future, or even just later today can be altered in the blink of an eye and there isn't much you can do about it and sit back and enjoy the ride. Not to say its dumb to have goals or plan or wish, but i guess what I have to learn is not to hold on so tightly that I miss not just the carnations by the side of the road but all the other benefits that can come from a sudden bend in the trail. Who knows what that bend could be protecting us from.

I want to feel free to truly experience life and throw all the rules and expectations out of the window and just feel the autumn wind on my face as I drive into the sunset. Of course it wouldnt be complete without a love to ride along. Call me crazy but I want to experience love in full force. The over the top, heart throbbing, soul stirring, "it's the significant other not gravity that holds you to the earth" type of love. And I want the feeling to be mutual. And once we feel this way I want him to be strong enough in himself to tell me...although words of course will not be able to fully express our feelings, I want to feel it seep from his pores, from our very beings. I want to know in the inner most part of me that we are one. Maybe it sounds crazy but what is the life without love, without that other person that is in the world that makes you better by simply existing.

I guess it is also impossible to predict what will come of a blog...because I didn't know I was gonna write this. But iguess admitting it is the first step.

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