I don't know what to do..

I don't know where to go. I don't know how to get to that next level, next phase, next whatever. And it's destroying my present. I am not happy, I cannot find contentment. I don't like all my down time because I don't like being forced to think of the future. It's too much to handle in large doses. I am miserable because I have no one to distract me from life. I want to lie on a park bench and just sleep for hours. I want to be a movie critic and a top chef. I want to lose a million pounds so I look good in clothes again. I want to feel like I'm loved, like I'm the most important person to someone. I can't think. My brain is hurting, my thoughts are blocked. My motivation has disappeared. Basically I'm a mess. And I don't know if these things can be cured.